When I grow up...

I turned 35 this week.

35.

Yet I am still asking myself the age old question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?”


I haven’t quite figured it out apparently, and with my kids getting older, I am left wondering what is next. I like to think the possibilities are endless, that I could be anything I put my mind too, but then reality hits me in the face like a smelly sock.

No literally, a smelly sock hit me in the face. It is one of the many joys of having a son, they think smelly socks and jocks are hilarious. And that stench is what brought me back. Well that and the giant silver balloons my best friend brought to soccer to tell the world I was

Both loves reminded me that I cannot just run off and join the theatre or swim with dolphins all day. Wherever it is I end up from here on in, must still be thought of in terms of my real life.

I would love to study more, to read more, to be more.

But study where?
Read what?
Be who?

I thought life was supposed to get clearer as you got older, but here I am pondering the same questions as my Year 11 step-son.

I know where my passion lies, what my heart tells me to do, but sometimes following that path is confusing and murky. Though I suppose that when your heart leads, your weary eyes are free to sleep and your busy brain can stop, listen and learn.

And just when you are thinking that you have no idea, that you are doomed to be wondering for eternity, you get a phone call that sets you back on track.
A phone call that says ‘We would like to schedule in an interview’, and you know it’s time to show up.
It’s time to shine.
The path is clear.

Cos life is strange like that.
Just when you think you have it all down pat, something slaps you in the face and renders you unconscious with its stench. But if you are wandering lost and confused, ready to curl into the foetal position and cry yourself to sleep, you get a buzz from the universe to say she has your back.

You just have to show up.

Related Posts

Seven Up: An open Letter to my first born.
Seven Up: An open Letter to my first born.
My darling son, on Saturday you enter a new life cycle and turn 7. That’s 7 years and 36+4 weeks that my heart has lo...
Read More
50 Shades of Grey… hair
50 Shades of Grey… hair
I see you all staring. I do. I like to think it's 'cos I’m pretty, or because I have a big cold sore on my lip… But I...
Read More
But why should I bother using essential oils?
But why should I bother using essential oils?
I heard someone in a pharmacy ask ‘But why should I bother using essential oils?’. I nearly spat my coffee out, but I...
Read More

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published